Reviewed by Sam Unsted
Stars Gary Sinise, Gina Kanakeredes, Carmine Giovinazzo, Eddie Cahill, Hill Harper, Anne Belknap,
Robert Joy, AJ Buckley, Emmanuelle Vaugier | Written by Anthony Zuiker, Ann Donahue & others
UK certification 15 | UK RRP £34.99 | Runtime 490 minutes | Directed by Rob Bailey, Christine Moore & others
Reviewing a show like this is so difficult, not so much because it is critic-proof (it is) but because it has no desire to be critically engaged with. CSI:NY, the third incarnation of the forensic science mega-hit, ticks all the boxes of the original series with slight upgrades all over.
They have the mid-career quality actor in Gary Sinise shouldering the majority of the emotional weight of the show. They have a beautiful women in her mid-thirties (Kanakeredes) who’s seen in all, can’t find love and has a sense of humour and duty. Those two central figures are surrounded by stock characters, usually two male and one female investigator and then a straightforward cop who accompanies them on their adventures. All these are present and accounted for in this fourth series and we get treated to something like a running story-arc as Mac Taylor (Sinise) gets calls at exactly 3.33am every day, no matter where he is or what phone he uses. Otherwise it’s all self-contained stories of gruesome murders where the most obvious is never the culprit. The only other moment of interest in guest director Joe Dante coming in for a confusing and pretty terrible Halloween episode.
So CSI:NY plods along, providing almost no excitement at all but at least engaging us enough that it works as utterly disposable fluff television. The patronising tone that exists in so many shows of its type is a little more irritating here due to the delivery of the support cast. The ‘science bit’ is all very complicated and showy – the fetishised procedural bits where we get some sort of electronic playing over snazzily cut science-y stuff remain – and its okay to talk down to me during those bits, but this series also seems to talk down to us during the emotional scenes too which only Sinise has the chops to carry. It also has giant plot-holes emerging at every turn and you have to take huge leaps of faith with the cast to get behind their solving of the crimes. One case, where two investigators use a cobbled together slingshot to figure out where a bullet would have ricocheted to, is really a horribly awful moment where all I was thinking was that I would have fired these chumps for not finding the bullet in the first place.
I suppose the key issue is wider than the show. We need shows like this, utterly pointless they may be but they do entertain. The real problem is that we are starting to become used to better shows. The Wire has somewhat trampled the traditional police procedural into the ground by exploring the socio-political landscape of America and forming itself as a novel-like series, unfolding over its run rather than delivering quick, cheap, self-contained thrills. Dexter does science better than CSI because it has a whole, more interesting story working on top of these little mysteries, understanding that solving those is just a side attraction to an involving, well-written story that works across a series. If CSI can continue its success for much longer, I don’t know. Surely, eventually, people will realise that for all the flash, all the wonderful looking people and that broad stereotypical characters that make it such easy watching, this is lazy, patronising television.
EXTRAS * Categorically nothing although it does have a useful episode summary option. Seems like nothing, but being able to avoid having to watch a bit of one twice is a strong option to give.