The House Of The Witch Doctor

DVD Reviews Horror
1

Avoid

The House Of The Witch Doctor review

Sometimes, when a film is this bad, you don’t even know where to begin to describe it. I don’t mean lovably bad, like it has a low budget, or maybe the effects are out of date. I mean when a film is pointlessly bad. When any small redeeming quality that might have given you a glimmer of hope is completely absent.

the house of the witch doctor 2013 DVD packshotThe idea for this film is pretty cool: that two ex-cons go on a spree, invading a home inhabited by hapless teens, but get more than they bargained for when something evil that lurks in the basement is awakened. However, that’s the broad plot of this film. It doesn’t tell you that what you’ll actually see is really long, static takes on girls taking showers or having sex, which feel more like the rushes that might secretly get smuggled home for personal use by some creep in the camera department, than anything sexy that you might actually want to see.

Worst of all, the film is about rape, which means that there’s loads of really creepy scenes of women being raped. I don’t mean creepy like confronting, which they certainly are too, I mean creepy like more than one person must have signed off on them being included in the film the way they are shot and cut. And since none of this furthers the story in any way, and by halfway through the film you’re wondering when the plot is due to start, that evil in the basement feels rather pointless.

Essentially, if you wanted to watch sex like this, you could watch a porn movie. If you wanted to watch a horror movie, the plot and the scares really aren’t there. So this film doesn’t really satisfy anyone. There’s just nothing here to recommend itself. And with the acting and cinematography being so terrible, it’s boring to watch too.

Normally I like a bad horror film, especially if it has a low budget and dodgy scares. I don’t think that’s prohibitive to enjoyment. Even bad dialogue and plot holes can be fun, or poor acting. I don’t like to just hate on something that someone has put work into, everyone learns somewhere. But here, there’s nothing for you to really enjoy, most importantly, it doesn’t set out to do what it advertises (be a horror film) and no one is having fun. Least of all anyone who watches it.  

EXTRAS: None.

Hermione Flavia is a Screenjabber contributor

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