Wild Child (DVD)

While it's certainly more realistic in terms of modern teen attitude than the recent rose-tinted, overly cosy Angus, Thongs & Full Frontal Snogging, Wild Child's endless cliches and attempts to outrage leave a very bad taste in the mouth.

Wild Child DVD

When her dad (Quinn) has had enough of her wild antics, Poppy (Roberts) is despatched from her Paris Hilton-esque spoiled life in Malibu to a draughty English school to teach her a lesson. The school was the making of Poppy's late mother, so he dad is hopeful that it'll do the same for Poppy. Cue every boarding school cliché you can think of (and yes, there is a costume change montage), interspersed with swearing, talk of shagging – underage shagging as it happens – and Poppy becoming a well-rounded individual while she turns her dorm mates into abject slappers.

It's hard to work out what the worst thing about Wild Child is. The embarrassing bump and grind at the school disco? The promotion of slutty morals for 15-year-olds? The portrayal of the English as pheasant-hunting, class-obsessed idiots? The complete waste of Natasha Richardson, Daisy Donovan, Jason Watkins and – in particular – Shirley Henderson as "comedy" school personnel? There's a brief moment of respite with Nick Frost camping it up as a hairdresser, but one laugh is scant reward for sitting through 98 minutes of this badly made, appallingly judged dross.

EXTRAS ** There's the usual "making of" documentary, plus four other featurettes: Lacrosse, in which the cast talk about the challenge of playing lacrosse; School Memories, in which the cast talk about their real-life school experiences; Head Girl Tour, n which the "head girl" Harriet Bentley (Georgia King) takes us on a tour of "Abbey Mount" school; and Ghostville, in which the cast talks about the ghost that allegedly haunts the school.

Stuart O'Connor is the Managing Editor of Screenjabber, the movie review website he co-founded with Neil Davey far too many years ago. He likes all genres, as long as the film is good (although he does enjoy the occasional bad "guilty pleasure"), and drinks way too much coffee.

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